


Stranger in a strange land

by AsoIaF_Jess



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Claire Beauchamp kinda, F/M, One Shot, Porn With Plot, Romance, Sex, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, maybe one day a full story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 02:59:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7150277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsoIaF_Jess/pseuds/AsoIaF_Jess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jamie was fighting for the MacKenzies, against another Clan. He and Claire fought before he left, so upon returning, he talks to Laoghaire and not to his wife first. Claire is mad, he wouldn't even let her know he returned alive, he thinks she doesn't care enough.<br/>He is Jamie, the one we know and love. Same backstory etc.<br/>She is kinda Claire, kinda someone else. Younger, 20 yrs old, english, was a virgin before the wedding</p><p>This is smut. Claire evaluates her feelings for the still pretty strange man to whom she is married. Jamie knows who he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one shot, starting in the middle of things. I am not even sure it makes sense. So don't hate me, I hope it's not too horrible. Even I don't know what really happens in this, or who the female character is ( besides being kind of a younger version of Claire ) 
> 
> I don't have anything mapped out for this story. I just started to write and this is what I produced. It's still very raw and incoherent. So no real plot there, just yet. I'll just post this right now, maybe later I'll write the full story (if inspiration stays with me) But I would post the full story, should I ever write it, under another title. 
> 
> Just so you know, my mother's tongue is German. So there might be some mistakes :)

’’Well if you say so.’’ I answered with ice in my voice.  
I resisted the urge to turn around to see if that hurt him, I convinced myself that I didn't care. 

’’Listen …’’ he started ignoring the anger that radiated from me 

’’No! I am done listening to you I am done agreeing to you and I am sick of obeying you!" I spit out 

"You proved that I am not more to you than a burden you have to take responsibility for, your bad. You volunteered for marrying me and now what ?! you regret it? If you want to be free of me then go. Run to Laoghaire, run to your uncles or a priest and annul our marriage. Send me away. Because I would rather be miserable somewhere else than endure your company even a minute longer if you do not want to see me. GO!’’

I wished for something heavy within my reach I could throw at him  
The bright side was, the anger boiling inside of me, had burned away the tears that had been dwelling in my eyes only a minute ago. So I finally turned around to stare at him with unhidden fury in my eyes. However, I wasn't prepared for the look I saw on his face. Jamie looked tortured.

Too many emotions flooded through veins irritating me even further. The anger cooled down and was replaced by concern and sympathy. I wanted to slam my head against a wall, I wanted to rip my mind open. What’s going on here? Feeling everything all at once I grabbed the one feeling I was undoubtedly sure I felt. Sadness.

With tenseness in my voice I said: 

’’Jamie even if you don't want me you know you can trust me. What is wrong? Please! Just talk to me.’’

The anger retuned as I noticed that tears built up in my eyes. Sighing deeply I desperately tried to keep them at bay. I didn't want to be married, I wanted to go home. If so, then why was I feeling horrible about the destruction of our relationship… Wait! my inner voice interjected “when had this become a relationship?“

When he still didn't answer the silence grew too heavy for me. Unable to handle this ill atmosphere I stood up and left the room. Half heartedly I wanted him to follow me, but that would lead to no good. I needed to stop. He was a good man. I told myself even if I hated him right now the rational part of myself KNEW that he was one of the good. I couldn't bare to be in the dark womb of the castle anymore, so I walked faster and faster until I reached the garden door.

Cold wind blew tiny drops of rain into my face where they took the place of the tears I was determinedly suppressing. Where could I go… ? 

Not back inside, that much was sure. So I just started walking. Stepping through the muddy ground, my boots sinking into the dirt with a smacking sound I enjoyed the cold wind running its fingers through my hair, caressing my cheeks with its icy touch. Although I usually hated getting soaked from the rain, this felt wonderful. As if all the hot fury inside me was put to rest by the fresh air and the soft rain drops. I took a deep breath smelling the wet grass, feeling the bite of winter. It was November: only a few more weeks and the roads would be impassable so high in mountains. But I couldn't bare to worry about this too. Not today. Under the grey blanket that was the sky I could finally calm down. I took another breath and tasted the air. It was so clean, incomparable to what I had been used to all my life- it felt cleansing. My chest was filled with the soft cold air so enriched with oxygen my head almost felt dizzy as I exhaled.

I wanted to go home, so a separation from him was only in my best interest. Still, the thought of leaving forever with our last conversation ending in a heavy silence, I could not do that. The very thought of it made me ill. Even if there was nothing between us, I still owed me life at least partially to him. I hated being so dependent on someone else, but he had saved me. I had no illusions about what would have awaited me hadn't Jamie helped me. Goosebumps spread on every inch of my skin as I thought of Randall’s hands on my breasts. Coming from a time, where I had been a strong individual person, I felt so lost and insecure at the thought that no one would have even cared about Randall raping me. No judge would have sent him to jail. What was a strange girl’s virtue against the good reputation of a Captain? 

If I was completely honest with myself, I had no right to be mad at Jamie. He had saved me and for that I owed him gratitude. He had been honest with me from the start and he had kept all of his promises. He had never said he didn't love another, had never said he'd be faithful to me and I had never demanded it. Why would I? It would have been nothing but cruel. I couldn't allow myself to feel anything deeper than friendship for him. Why should I keep him from finding love somewhere else? I went to sit under a big oak, its broad leaves shielding me from the rain. I took off my coat, folded it and sat on it. My mind was working relatively rational now. I was jealous at Laoghaire. That much I could admit. Only because I hadn't experienced an infatuation like that myself. It would only be fair play to give Jamie up- he could be with Laoghaire, even if that meant people would talk about me. The sassenach couldn't keep her husband in her bed for long. I breathed and let the anger go completely. This wasn't my life, not my home. What did it matter to me if they talked behind my back. I would leave them behind soon. I ran my fingers trough the cold and moist grass, little drops of water dripping into my palm. Without thinking about it I stood up, formed a cup with my hands, and let the rain fall into my palms. When there was a tiny puddle of rain water I splashed it into my face. Gods that felt nice. I would never have done that at home. With all the talk of pollution and acid rain, I wouldn't dare to splash rain water in my face. Here where the only pollution came from the chimneys and fireplaces, the rain was probably cleaner than the water I drank. 

Everything was fine, or at least everything would be soon. I sighed and bent down to pick up my coat. I shook it so that the grass would fall off, then placed it over my shoulders. Still wet and cold but a better protection against the rain than nothing. The rain had weakened to a soft drizzle and the fluffy clouds began to part. Nevertheless a strong wind was blowing and its cold bite made me freeze under my wet clothes. The last thing I needed now was catching a fever in a place where antibiotics were completely unheard of. For all I knew they'd probably consider bloodletting the one and only therapy and I’d rather suffer alone than let what they considered a doctor nowadays touch me. 

So I ran, as good as I could on the muddy ground, back to the keep. I didn't think about how I could start the conversation, spontaneous inspiration would have to suffice. I wondered why I was suddenly so calm. Maybe it was the acknowledgment that I couldn't have him. That thought had finally settled in my mind. I was going home, somehow, someday. So I couldn't have him, even if I wanted to. Which I did not, I told myself. When I finally got back to the door, daylight had already faded to dusk. I pulled at the doorknob, but the door didn't move an inch. Of course... someone probably used the door latch to close it from the inside. With all of the recent attacks on MacKenzie land... What had I even been thinking to go out alone? 

’’Fuck this!“ 

Now I’d have to go trough the main entrance and everyone would see me. Poor little me. There was no other way, I picked up my skirts and stepped through the mud. Passing the stables on my left and I saw one of the foals out on the paddock. I went over and recognized Donas’ newest offspring. I got on the paddock and gently approached the little one.

“Hey sweetheart.“, I purred as I stepped closer 

“What are you doing out here all alone, huh?“ I gently petted the tiny red horse. “I could be asking you the same thing, Sassenach.“


	2. cold nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> now comes the smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this isn't as bad as 50 shades of grey...  
> at least there's no whipping involved here
> 
> I've edited the chapter, and I will change a few more things over the next couple of days. I wasn't a hundred percent happy with how the ending of chapter 2 turned out.  
> I still have the original version though :) 04. 08. 2017

“I could be asking you the same thing, Sassenach.“ 

I jumped and cried out. The little horse ran away and left me standing there alone in the drizzle, facing my, judging by the look on his face, furious husband. 

“I am asking you the same question. What are you doing out here? Alone, after the attacks. It’s almost evening. Do you think I want to fight again, huh?“

Of course, I felt stupid. I behaved irresponsibly, but I’d been sooo angry. I probably wouldn't even have noticed a group of soldiers. Having nothing better to say I answered:

“You shouldn't work again, your arm is injured.“

He threw the pitchfork away and stepped closer. I raised my hand.

“Can we talk inside? I’m pretty cold and soaked.“

Jamie sighed, he looked more tired than ever and only now I noticed the shadows under his eyes. I felt a little ashamed.

“Can you help me catch the foal?“

“Sure“, I answered.“Have you figured out a name yet?“

Gods, I laughed at myself, I was really trying to do smalltalk in this situation. I ran my fingers through my hair and followed him.

When the little pony was safely reunited with his mother, I sighed. Now came the heavy part.  


Inside the stable it was warm from the heat radiating from all the cows and horses.

It was so comfortable, the content noises coming from eating animals, their warm and earthy scent filling the air. Such a stark contrast to the tangible tension between Jamie and me. Would he be angry, I wondered. 

Or disappointed, or worst of all, simply annoyed he had to concern himself with me at all.

I took off my cloak, laid it over a hay bale and sat down. Prepared, come whatever may. Jamie turned around, leaning back against the railing as he studied my face. He looks tired, I observed, profoundly and thoroughly tired. 

“When I came back from the raid.“ He started “I was injured and enraged. At you, at Laoghaire, at myself.“

“I know…“ I said quietly. He looked into my eyes. They were so blue and had a hard expression in them.

“I don't want to make you feel bad for things that are out of your power. I don't want to make you unhappy… we don't have to keep each other from what makes us feel good. So what I’m trying to say is… Laoghaire wants you and I won’t tell you not to go to her out of damaged pride.“

I avoided his eyes and pretended to be really focused on arranging my skirts. Suddenly, I heard a loud metallic sound and a bucket landed in front of my feet. Jamie clenched his hands, his face was completely red.

“It’s enough now!“

He approached me, looking like a deadly leopard about to attack. 

Never before had I even felt the slightest fear of him, but now all alone with him I realized just what a man he was. Towering over me, 6 foot and 4 inches of hard and trained muscles, in the full strength of his youth, he'd probably only grow stronger over the next years.

A warrior.

It is so easy to forget what he really is, in the core of his being, when you see him taking care of horses. But I would never forget the way he looked now, ferocious and intimidating.

“Could you for one second stop talking about how you want me to visit another woman’s bed! We are married in case you've forgotten.“

Why was he so upset?

“I don't want you to go to another, least of all Laoghaire, but if I can’t give you …“ I could not bring myself to say the word, nor did I have the time to finish my sentence. Jamie cut in: 

’’Could you look at me? Gods woman, look into my eyes when you tell me to commit adultery.“

He was standing right in front of me now, so close I could feel the tension in his body, I could smell the sweat and dirt on his clothes. 

I never felt more insecure than in this moment.

My face reddened by shame and embarrassment, I raised my head. I felt as if my bones were turning into water, not strong enough to keep me upright anymore.

’’Do you not value my honour at all? Or your own for that matter.’’

I didn't want to give in to my urges, that were telling me to scream or run away.

So I took a deep breath and told him:

’’You’re a good man. I know that. Marrying me proved it, but I shouldn't ruin your life, just because you saved mine.’’

Jamie’s face took on a frustrated expression.

’’You and ruining my life…? You are a feisty little beast but you are not ruining anything.’’

It was so hard to keep my calmness from earlier.

’’Don’t lie on my behalf, you don't need to protect my reputation if it keeps you from being with someone you want in your life.’’ His hands were on my shoulders, his grip like steel.

’’I said stop sending me away. I don't want Laoghaire. You were angry with me when we left, I assumed you didn't want to see me again. And Laoghaire was already waiting in the hall when we came back. I didn't go to her, she just… she was there and you weren’t.’’

He paused and I felt an unsettling feeling dwell in me. Where was he going with this?

’’I know.’’ 

’’Why weren't you Sassenach?’’ he inquired calmly.

’’I was determined to stay angry.’’ I said.

’’I know it’s immature. I am sorry. I should grow up…’’

I looked down at my folded hands, his ring on my finger. Jamie reached out and a surprisingly warm, big hand wrapped around mine. What was happening? This played out so differently from what I had expected.

’’I am done fighting with you and I ask you to stop making excuses. Don't try to decide for me. If you hate me, fine. You do not owe me anything, marrying you was my decision. Just as I decided to break my bond to Laoghaire.’’

His fingers played with my wedding ring.

My palms became sweaty, my face reddened even more and my breath caught in my throat. This really wasn't going as expected. 

The walls of self control I had built over the past hour began to crumble and panic began to spread in my veins. I took my hand out of his and started to fumble nervously at my hair. 

’’You didn't have to do that.’’ I whispered.

’’Yes I did.“

He took a strand of my hair between his fingers and tucked it behind my ear.

He was so close. 

I haven't had this much physical contact to another person, to him, in weeks. All of the emotional stress, the ups and downs, I had been through within the past 24 hours- I felt dizzy almost intoxicated and my rational thinking went down the river.

’’You don't want her?’’ 

Jamie answered calmly:’’No, lass. I am here with you, not with her. But you kept telling me to go, to be with her. How many times did you reject me, Sassenach? My pride couldn't take it again and again and again.’’

’’I thought I had to.’’

That was true, I had hoped to be able to distance myself from him emotionally. 

The turmoil boiling in me was proof enough about how unsuccessful I had been using that method. Jamie’s hands now lay on my shoulders. 

I was too exhausted to argue with myself any longer and I somehow felt comfortable, surrounded by the animals that were now slowly drifting into sleep.

I shifted closer, only an inch, but he noticed.

’’I am your husband and I want you. You can't do anything about the first fact, but you can deny me what the second one implies. Is that what you want?’’

His face was so close to mine, I could reach out and touch him if I wanted to… and I did. I pulled at the laces of his shirt and ran my hands over his chest. Jamie stood completely still and waited for a verbal answer.

’’No.’’ I said in a husky voice. ’’I don't want to deny you anything.’’

He went down on his knees and looked up at my face

’’Good, because I am done allowing you to hide from me. What do you think of being honest with me? You promised me that much. In a church, in case you've forgotten.’’ He took my hand in his again, bent his head and kissed my wedding ring.

“So here I am, on my knees. It’s just us in this moment. I want you. So tell me, Sassenach, do you want me, too? Will you have me?“

There was only one possible answer to that.

’’Yes, I will.“ 

The next second he was all over me. 

His hands on my back tearing at the laces of my dress. His mouth on mine, devouring me wholly. His body pressing me down on the hay bale. I could hardly breath, let alone move. 

I threw my arms around him and pressed him against me. It was so uncomfortable, but other things were more pressing in that moment.

Like the taste of his mouth, the feeling of his slick tongue exploring my mouth.

After a few more moments he suddenly was gone. I was completely tousled and more irritated than I’d ever been in my entire life.

’’Wait one moment.“ Jamie said. 

He picked up my coat and went to another corner of the stable where the fresh hay lay on the floor. Jamie spread my cloak on the floor, took off his plaid and laid it right next to it. With only his shirt covering his body up he came back to me. Holding my loosened dress up, I stood up.

“Let your dress go. I am half naked, no reason for you to be shy. We are married right?“

I let my sleeves fall off my shoulder and stepped out of my skirts. Left bare except for a thin chemise I would have shuddered had it not been for the dozens of farm animals filling the stable with their warmth.

I folded my dress and laid it over the hay bale I have been sitting only a minute ago. 

Jamie didn't say a word, he simply cupped my face and kissed me again. 

Such intimacy was so new to me but my instincts won over. Doubts and insecurity be damned. His skin was so hot and soft under my fingers and he had said he wanted me.

Here we were, alone with cows as bystanders, exploring each other’s bodies with our curious fingers. I felt his hands trail down my back. 

My arms were wrapped around his neck, so that I could pull his face against mine. Suddenly I felt his arms tense and I was literally swept off my feet. At the feeling of being lifted up like a tiny baby by this strong man my entire skin tingled with arousal.

Like an idiot I blurted out: “You are so strong.“

I could feel his warm breath on the soft skin of my throat when he giggled. “You’re not very heavy Sassenach.“

He stood still and relaxed his body to show me just how easy it was for him. I was painfully aware of how exposed we stood there. My naked legs wrapped around his hips. 

This was getting ridiculous.  
What little self confidence I had built in the previous minutes seemed to fade from my grasp more and more, the longer he held me like this.  
no control, I hated that.

But maybe that was just what he had intentioned.  
My doubts of his motives were proven right with him saying:

“Stop squirming. Just once I finally have you where you can’t hide or run from me.“

Hoping that this was as uncomfortable for him, as it was for me I answered:

“I didn't think you wanted to talk now.“

As sassy as i tried to sound my voice seemed so faint and shaky, well. I avoided his gaze and tried desperately to calm down my heart beat.

“This is weird. Just let me down, will you?“

I tried to free my legs but Jamie’s grip under my butt only hardened.

“No.“ he grinned at me.

“For once I have you somewhere you can’t escape me. So tell me now, Sassenach. Do you want me?“

What kind of torture was this?

“I already told you.“

I jiggled even more. He kissed my neck and suddenly I felt his teeth nibble at my skin.

“What are you doing?“

I pressed out between gritted teeth.

“Forcing the truth out of you for once. You sit here, half naked in my arms, so it should not be too difficult to be true to me?“

In my last desperate attempt to tease him, trying in vain to conceal my insecurity I argued:

“If I am already half naked, are you really so insecure that you need my verbal acknowledgment?“

The nibbling turned into a full bite.  
“Ouch!“

I took that as a yes.

“Alright, fine you sadist.“

I exclaimed, more frustration in my voice than anger, really.

“Go on Sassenach. We consummated our marriage only once. So why now, huh?“

His stare was hard, his eyes so blue and I felt trapped. Like a bunny frozen in shock when a wolf attacks. Or a fox, I thought studying the colour of his hair. The light was very dim but I could still clearly see the copper shine, bringing out the dark blue of his iris. 

I knead the curls in his neck and bent over to whisper into his ear.  
Not having to look at him as I whispered those next few words was the only reason I was able to say them:

“Because I want to you Jamie. All of you. In me…“ My voice wanted to break but I forced my self to continue. Just this once, I had to admit it.  
“Don't go to Laoghaire, or to anyone else. Come to me.“

I don’t remember him going down. An eternity passed before my mind was capable of forming a half-decent thought again. Legs and arms and skin, warmth in the midst of the cool air, his warmth and I craved it.  
Fingers in my hair, hay scratching at my back through the thin layer of fabric, which was strangely pleasant. All those tiny prickly bits of hay felt like a hundred fingers tracing my body.  
For once, I was too overwhelmed with the whole experience to let my usual habit of overthinking get the better of me.

I tugged at his hair pulling him into me and he was surprisingly compliant. My first conscious reaction happened when I felt one of his hands move down my body. Knowing where it would go, I tensed up slightly. He pulled back and traced the lines of my face with his lips, from my jaw to my ear, back down to my throat, kissing the soft skin just above my pulse.  
Could he feel how fast my heartbeat was?  
My breath was ragged and I breathed in, deep in, closed my eyes and counted to three.

One…  
Jamie kissing my throat just as I raise my chest inhaling  
Two…  
Holding my breath while his hand traces my hips  
Three…  
Feeling his stare as he slowly moves further down gripping the hem of my chemise

I opened my eyes and wriggled myself free.  
Taking matters into my own hands quite literally, I undressed myself fully. So there we were.

I could hardly read his expression but his frustration was made perfectly clear by him proclaiming:

“The first time I have you naked in front of me and I can’t even see everything clearly.“

He rose and I inquired:  
“Where are you going?“  
After a few seconds I couldn't really tell anymore where he was. The darkness plus all the rustling from the animals made for a creepy atmosphere.  
“Exposed and alone in the dark… great!“

My immature fearful phantasies were cut short by a hissing sound echoing through the stable and seconds later the room was filled with a warm and cozy light. 

I tucked my knees close to my chest and said:  
“Since when does a stable need a fireplace? Isn't that pretty dangerous, with all the dry hay lying around.“

Not that I cared, I probably wouldn't even notice everything going down in flames, just wanted to fill the silence. He threw another log of wood into the fire and returned to my side.

“Old Alec usually sleeps here. Luckily for us he is in the town visiting his sister.“

I mumbled:  
“What a coincidence.“

Everything felt new all over again. He sat down right in front of me. The red light glowing behind him, dipping him in red golden glow, so that he looked like a saint on a church painting. How could I compete with such a demigod, looking like a fucking viking germanic legendary king or whatever.

“You look so lovely in that light, Claire.“

“I was just thinking the same thing about you.“

I answered. Jamie shifted closer and pressed a kiss on the crook of my neck.  
“I look lovely?“

I giggled, I was already about to say “No sexy.“ but then I wondered if the word sexy even existed in this time.

“Not lovely. But you definitely look good in that light.“  
I replied coyly.

I looked up at him and leaned in, Jamie’s hands cupped my face and he pulled me toward him.  
Unlike before, when we were all fire, this kiss was soft and reassuring.  
His lips moved slowly, almost teasingly, while the rest of him was as still as a statue.  
However, even this send tingles down my stomach. I inched closer, pulling my arms around his neck. Only then did he move his hands as well. Down my shoulders, stopping when they reached my waist.

Apparently some of my courage had returned, since I found myself breaking the kiss.

“Well, why did you put a fire on anyways?“

I challenged him, one eyebrow raised.  
He grinned immediately.

“Oh aye, you're right. I would have almost forgotten. Let me have a proper look at you.“  
I wasn’t yielding now.  
I stood up.

“Fair is fair. Stand up, if you see mine I get to see yours.“

Offering my hand I waited for his reaction. Jamie took it and rose. Circling me I could feel his curious eyes wandering over my body.

He was all muscles, broad shouldered, yet elegant. He would have made a good swimmer, athletic. Beautiful, despite the scars.

Or maybe because of them? 

He was strong and wonderful and mine to do with as I pleased. Just like I was his right now. 

“Have you never seen a naked woman before?“ I said to break the silence.

“Of course I have. But not such a pretty one, and never one that was mine.“

Muffled noises from sleeping animals, the crackling of the fire and Jamie’s feet rustling over the hay. He stopped behind me and I leaned back against him, moulding my full body length into his. 

He immediately put his arms around me. I turned around in his grasp and hid my face in the crook of his neck, as my hands roamed over his back. I could feel the scars, my fingers traced the exact lines softly. To my endless surprise, unlike before, he did not seem to mind.  
He wasn’t ashamed anymore?

I wanted, I needed to know why, but I couldn't bring myself to ask him what had changed. Not now.

He stood still as my curious hands explored his body, except for his steady breath, which I could feel against my cheek.  
His long fingers encircled my waist completely, ready… as if he was waiting for some sort of signal on my part.

Instinctively, I pulled my head back a bit, so I could look into his eyes, his steel blue gaze piercing mine send shivers down my body, I felt electrocuted.  
It was my turn now to be frozen where I stood. His eyes still on mine he grabbed tighter and pulled me down on the ground, where his plaid was spread as a blanket.

Now would be the absolute last moment to break this off, the very last…

I raised my chin and right on cue his mouth found mine. Bare skin on bare skin. My mind went blank and instincts I did not know I had, took over.

I was wide open for him, no hesitations left. My legs were apart and he was between my thighs. I felt trapped beneath him, but it was not uncomfortable at all. Instead it gave me a feeling of security, pinned down like this. Jamie was tall and strong and mine.  
For how long I could not know, so I wanted it all. Taste him, feel all of him, everywhere.

He balanced himself on his elbows, so he wouldn't crush me. I adjusted my position a little as well, my legs angled now.  
With this short break my senses returned and I could feel him. I could also feel that I was more than ready for what was coming next, but Jamie was fighting hard to hold himself back. Probably remembering my tenseness during our first and so far only time together.

This was different, though. At least for me and he had to know.

I grabbed his hips and turned him around, his face painted with confusion and I felt glorious. He lay on his back now and I crawled on top of him. 

It took him a few seconds to realize I wasn’t running away, quite the opposite.

Straddling him, looking deep into his eyes as if to prove both him and myself that I was no coward, that I wanted this as much as he obviously did. 

He breathed heavy and fast as I put my hand around him.

I positioned him beneath me and slid down. I closed my eyes and tried to focus, part of myself was wondering if what I did was technically right, but that part was very small and faded completely from my consciousness when I heard a low, vibrating moan escaping Jamie’s lips. 

I enjoyed the friction now, the stretching feeling of his length filling me out, where no one had ever been. No one but him.

And this time I was ready, the difference between what it had felt like the first time and now was giant. 

I was wet, aroused, just the feeling of touching him earlier had sent sparkles down to my core, but now, even though it was still the slightest bit uncomfortable, I had to concentrate to not just think of him pressing so delicately against my nub and forget everything else.

“This is how it was meant to be.“ I thought.

This is what people forgot their honor for, their principles. I had never enjoyed my body like this and it was him, Jamie, who made me feel this way.

It just felt right, so I bent forward, taking the same position he had been in a few moments earlier.

My arms stretched out next to him, my hands gripping at the hay and my face just above his.

I finally opened my eyes again and saw his face carrying an expression I had never seen before. He seemed almost dazzled. 

Pearls of sweat made their way down his face, starting from his forehead, which was striped with the dark copper strands of his hair. I just had to touch him there, so I raised my right hand and stroked the hair out of his face.

Only now did he seem to notice me again, his hands flew up and buried themselves deep in the hair at my neck. He pulled me down and kissed me roughly. I didn't mind, I opened my mouth, taking my mind away from the novel feeling of him inside me and just let go.

We kissed as if our lives depended on it and only then did I begin to move my hips.

Slowly, carefully increasing the friction against my entrance. 

I sat back up to get a better angle and Jamie followed me. He gripped my hips and pressed me harder against him, if such a thing was even possible.

Our bodies slid against one another, our sweat mingling and making it impossible to tell where his skin stopped and mine began. 

I put my legs around him and with this position he slid even a little deeper into me.

Somehow my brain was still able to register him saying something but I couldn’t hear what it was. 

“What was that?“

I managed to articulate.

Jamie laughed roughly.

“Nothing, mo nighean donn.“ He answered without slowing his pace. 

He continued talking but I did not listen and I did not care to ask again.

Instead my nails scratched his back and I rested my head against his shoulders.

Talking and thinking, while he was thrusting, while I could feel him pulsating inside of me, against the silky skin inside of me, in the perfect rhythm of his pulse, which I could feel against my cheek, that was more than I could process. 

I had never been so close to him, and only now did I notice his smell.

The salty taste of his fresh sweat combined with the musky scent of our sex and something that I couldn’t quite place. Something that was undeniably Jamie, like fresh mown grass and rain. 

I breathed heavily against his neck as his pace became quicker and quicker, bordering on rough.

I did my best to match his rhythm, grinding my hips into his groin. I moaned and sighed and I did not care, because so did he. 

Underneath my fingers I could feel his shoulders tense and I marveled at the look of awe in his face as he was about to come undone.

The thought of me having been the one to make him look like this, disheveled and overwhelmed, sent more sparks down my body.

My skin prickled watching him like this and again I pressed my lips on his, capturing his moan with my mouth, just as I felt his release.

His pleasure vibrated trough my body and I out my right hand on his chest so I could feel his heartbeat slow down underneath my palm.

None of us really moved, we just sat there, enjoying this perfect moment after the storm, relishing in the aftermath.

Jamie’s eyes looked softer than usual, although they had a feverish glimmer to them.

We laid next to each other as the fire slowly burned down. I felt so small cuddled into him. One of the sheep bleated. But I couldn't sleep right now, as soon as the fire died out it would be too cold to sleep, body warmth or no. I squirmed and stood up. A hand gripped my ankle.

“What are you doing?“

I threw the plaid around my shoulders.

“I wanted to put some more wood into the fire, why?“

He turned around and laid on his back.

“Do that lass, but get back here soon. It’s colder without you.“

“I’ll hurry.“ I answered quickly.

I knelt before the fireplace and carefully placed a few logs in it, so that no sparks would fly. It was hard for me to ignore the constant danger of a house fire, but that was still better than shuddering all night because of the cold. When the fire burned satisfactorily, I thought of my next assignment.

“Does Alec possess a blanket?“ I asked.

“Oh aye, probably somewhere near the stairs.“ Jamie said.

Two huge quilts were neatly folded next to the hayloft’s staircase. I picked them up and went back to our bed of hay.

“Come here Sassenach.“

I laid down on my plaid and Jaime covered us both with the blankets. His arm stretched out immediately and he pulled me close against him.

“Gods you're cold lassie.“ I giggled.

“You are warm, like a furnace.“

Jamie pulled my hair away from my neck and placed a soft kiss on my skin.

“That will come in handy for you in cold nights like this.“


End file.
